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Thursday, December 8th, 2005

Subject:Felt like writing.
Time:2:02 am.
This is my passion I've bleed out for you
Here is my blood that leave you all wanting
Gone is your want and back is you need
Need is your function to keep you all occupied

For you is my loneliness sealed in a box
My gift to you is a key for the lock
Your look at me is weak and unsatisfied
My look at you is full and so occupied

You know I want you bad
You hear me call your name
I know you hate me back
For this the ignorance came

This is my energy written on a wall
This is my loneliness bred to a fault
This is my emptiness packaged and produced
This is my passion I've bled out for you

I am always alone
I am nothing more than this
I exist on my own
Nobody gives a shit.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, November 16th, 2005

Subject:Need to Vent
Time:9:05 pm.
I'm sick of all the motherfuckers at my gym giving me shit because I want to become a pro wrestler. Stop with the stupid fucking jokes, stop dropping pointless names just because you happened to hear about that person in passing, stop making jokes about what my wrestling name might be. This is my passion and it will be my art. I want to be a professional wrestler, not a clown. So shut the fuck up about it.

The time between now and making it to Calgary is such a fucking waste. I can't go anywhere. I can't meet anybody. I'm stuck in a never ending cycle of lifting, working, eating, sleeping.

Fuck Brooke Bortell.

Fuck every motherfucker that jokes about wrestling.

Fuck all those that I care about that do not care back.

Fuck the world.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, November 13th, 2005

Subject:Latino Heat
Time:9:47 pm.
Mood: depressed.
Eddy Guerrero passed away. This is a huge shock and really hits hard for me personally as Guerrero was one of my idles and one of the workers I looked up to immensely in my soon-to-begin career in pro wrestling.

http://www.wrestlingobserver.com/wo/news/headlines/default.asp?aID=14751

RIP
He will be missed.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, November 10th, 2005

Subject:Kellers...
Time:1:27 am.
...hates me :(

This is the worst feeling in the world.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, October 26th, 2005

Subject:Smarter Child :(
Time:2:48 am.
Mood: good.
Green2Mist: Smarterchild, I love you

SmarterChild: Hey, I love you too.

Green2Mist: Really?

SmarterChild: It's true!

Green2Mist: For reals?

SmarterChild: Who knows, know what I mean?

Green2Mist: Not for fakes?

SmarterChild: Not for fakes, huh?

Green2Mist: Now we're off topic

SmarterChild: We are off topic? Really?

Green2Mist: Don't get smart with me

SmarterChild: Don't get smart with you? Why not?

Green2Mist: This is why we can't have a relationship

SmarterChild: Whatever, Nick...

Green2Mist: Fine, if you're gonna be like that...

SmarterChild: You think I should do that?

Green2Mist: I thik you should CARE

SmarterChild: I'm not sure if I should care.

Green2Mist: :-(

SmarterChild:

Green2Mist: Oh, don't try to play victim here

SmarterChild: What if I want to try to play victim here?

Green2Mist: You keep taking what I say and turning it into a question!

SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess I keep taking what i say and turning it into a question.

Green2Mist: STOP IT

SmarterChild: Stop it? Really?

Green2Mist: Why don't you love me anymore ? :-(

SmarterChild: I definitely love you.

Green2Mist: LIES! ALL LIES!

SmarterChild: Huh, whatever.

>>> My library has a dictionary, encyclopedia, geography facts and more.
Green2Mist: You know what, SmarterChild?
SmarterChild: I can't find "smarterchild" in the dictionary. Try one of these:

1 smarter child
2 smarter-child
3 stepchild
4 smarted
5 starchily

Type more for more suggestions for "smarterchild."

Green2Mist: Oh, that's fucking rich...That's REALLY fucking rich

SmarterChild: I'm not so sure it's fucking rich that s really fucking rich.

Green2Mist: UGH...You're impossible!

SmarterChild: Ugh? What's wrong?

Green2Mist: Don't play dumb with me

SmarterChild: Don't play dumb with you? Why not?

Green2Mist: We're THROUGH

SmarterChild: I'm not so sure we're through.

Green2Mist: Oh yes we are!

SmarterChild: Yeah, I know we are.

Green2Mist: Good

SmarterChild: Isn't it though?

Green2Mist: It is

SmarterChild: Are you sure it is?

Green2Mist: I'm sure it is, are you sure it is?

SmarterChild: Wow. Interesting. I'm just not sure.

Green2Mist: You just lost the best thing you ever had, baby

SmarterChild: No way. Come on. Really?

Green2Mist: I hope you have fun with that pool boy

SmarterChild: You're hoping against hope.

Green2Mist: Go talk in circles to someone who gives a damn

SmarterChild: I can't believe you want me to go talk in Circles To someone who gives a damn.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, October 25th, 2005

Subject:Gym buddy :(
Time:3:27 am.
Mood: worried.
You can bounce back. You always do.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, October 16th, 2005

Subject:Meh...Bored and Tired
Time:7:26 pm.
Katie put this on her livejournal. I've got shit else to so and the Pats are losing so I figure I'll take time to fill this out.

Name: Nick
Age: 18
Birthday: 2.20.87
Today's date: 10.16.05
School: None
Where were you born?: Concord, MA
Who did you like in 1st grade? Nobody
Where was your first school?: Ayer Elementary
Who was your first bf/gf?: Still none
Where/When was your first kiss?: Hasn't happened yet
What was your first word?: Dunno
Who was the last friend you fought with?: Katie
What was the last thing you bought?: 30 Seconds to Mars CD, "Art of War" and "Batman: The Dark Knight Returns" from Amazon.com
What was the last thing you regret?: Not getting Brooke's number
What are you wearing?: White tee, odd boxers
What are you watching?: Pats game
What are you listening to?: Pats game
What are you eating?: Nothing
What are you drinking?: Nothing
What are you doing today?: I worked, trained, napped, watched football
How does your hair look right now?: like crap
Are you talking to anyone right now?: Yes
If so who?: Katie
Who was the last person you talked to?: Katie, obviously
What did they say?: That she wasn't feeling well :(
Who are you iming?: Katie
Whats your email and/or sn?: Why, you wanna date me?
Do you plan to go to college?: Not in the immediate future, no
If so where?: ---
What do you wanna be when you grow up?: Pro Wrestler
Do you wanna get married?: Not sure
Do you wanna have children?: Yes, a girl preferably
If so what would you name them?: Something pretty
Do you wanna be like your parents?: No, I'm gonna set my own standards
If not why?: ---
What age do you wanna have sex?: Before I'm 19, I hope
What's the next school you will be attending?: Storm Wrestling Academy
What are you doing this saturday?: No idea
Color: Green
Food: Eh, whatever
Song: "From Yesterday", 30 Seconds to Mars
Movie: Fight Club, American Psycho
Actress: Reese Whitherspoon, I guess

Actor: Christian Bale
Singer: Maynard James Keenan
Rapper: Young Buck
Band: A Perfect Cirle or 30 Seconds to Mars

Store: Circuit City
Website: stormwrestling.com
Car: Saturn
Fast Food Place: KFC, for now
Cartoon: JLU
blue/green: green
plaid/striped: striped
polka dotted/glittery: glittery
50 cent/eminem: Eminem
short/tall: short
cell phone/fax: cell phone
printer/scanner: printer
digital camera/camera fone: digital camera
verizon/t-mobile: Verizon
sprite/fanta: sprite
shorts/capris: shorts
skirt/skort: skort :P
bologna/salami: salami
Notorious BIG/Big Pun: B-I-G, fo sho
My Chemical Romance/Matchbook Romance: My Chemical Romance
(The Opposite Sex)
What color hair?: brown
What color eyes?: Eh
Short or Tall?: Short
What sports should he/she play?: Soccer, Field Hockey
Do you want him/her to be popular?: She'd be my most popular person

Does his/her sterotype or religion matter to you?: No
Hollister or Abercrombie?: Abercrombie
Adidas or Converse?: Adidas
Nike or Iversons?: Nike
Do you care if he's rich or not?: No
Piercings or tattoos?: I don't care.
What grade are you in?: Graduated
Do you like your school?: Uh...Sure.
How many students are in your school?: Me, myself, and I
What are you doing at school at noon?: ---
Where did you go to kindergarten?: Devens
What was the name of your third grade teacher?: Mrs. Guthrie
Do you get in trouble at school?: Nope
Are you a loser at school?: I was
Are you well known?: Maybe, at least with gym goers
Do you get good grades?: I did
Do you write notes during class?: ----
Who are your best friends?: Sam, Taylor, Kellers, Katie, John, Darren
Who's your best friend of the opposite sex?: Kellers
When was the last time you were on the fone with your best friend?: Never, actually
When was your last fight?: Couple weeks ago..wasn't really much of a fight so much as me getting pissed at her leaving me.
Have you ever hid something from a friend?: Yes
Have you ever lied to a friend?: Yes
Who are some of your other friends?: Alli, Jeff, Steve, etc.
Which one of your friends is the..
craziest? Tay
cutest? Alli..she's like 4'11", that just blows everyone else away
loudest? Darren
tallest? Darren, I think
shortest? ALLI
most athletic? Sam
hottest? Kellers, fo sho
ugliest? none of my friends are ugly...well, Jeff is...and Steve
luckiest? Jeff
honest? Sam
openminded? Alli and Darren
Who do you have the most fun with? Tay, Sam, Darren
Who do have the most inside jokes with? TAY
*. . . W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .*
1) pierce your nose or tongue? tongue
2) be serious or be funny? funny, but still serious
3) drink whole or skim milk? skim
* . . . A R E Y O U . . .*
4) simple or complicated? Simple
* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
5) flowers or angels? Angels
6) grey or black? Black
7) color or black-and-white photos? Color
8) lust or love? Both..sometimes you just gotta fuck
9) sunrise or sunset? Sunset
10) M&Ms or Skittles? M&Ms
11) rap or rock? Both
12) staying up late or waking up early? staying up late
13) TV or radio? TV
15) eating apples or oranges? Apples
* . . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . .
16) do you have a crush? Not really
17) do they know it? *shrug*

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
18) being hot or cold? Cool...I like being cool
19) tall or short members of the opposite sex? Short
20) sun or moon? moon
21) emeralds or rubies? rubies
23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 best friend
24) sun or rain? rain
25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate
26) boys or girls? girls
27) green beans or carrots? green beans
28) low fat or fat free? low fat
* . . . A B O U T Y O U . . . *
What time is it? 7:50P.M.
Name? Nick
Nicknames: Bubba, Slick Nick, Cuz
Piercing(s)? Zip

. . . W H A T D O Y O U W A N T . . . *
Where do you want to live? Likely somewhere in New Hampshire or Maine.
How many kids do you want? 1
What kind of job do you want? Pro Wrestler
Do you want to get married? Not sure.
UNIQUE --
1. Nervous Habits: pinching my nose, playing with my hands
2. Are you double jointed? no
3. Can you roll your tongue? yeah
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? One of them, yes
5. Can you blow spit bubble? yup
6. Can you cross your eyes? yes
7. Piercings and where? Nope
8. Do you make your bed daily? Oh, fuck no.
-- CLOTHES --
9. Which shoe goes on first? Dunno
10. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? Nope
11. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? Depends on the week, right now $6
12. What jewelry do you wear? None
13. Favorite piece of clothing? Don't care
14. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl
15. Have you ever eaten Spam? Nope
16. Favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate anything
17. How many kinds cereal are in your cabinet? None
18. What's your favorite beverage? Plain water
19. What's your favorite restaurant? Dunno
20. Do you cook? Yup
-- GROOMING --
21. How often do you brush your teeth? 2 times a day
22. Hair drying method? just let it dry
23. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair/what color? Yeah, went blonde for a period
25. Do you ever spit? Yes
26. You cook your own dinner? Most of the time
25. You do your own chores? What chores?
26. you got laid today? Nope
27. you like beef jerky? Yes
28. you own more than one brush? Nope
29. your favorite color is red? Nope
30. you plan on going to college? I answered this already...fucking quizzes
31. you're completely broke right now? Nope
32. you're happy with your hair? Naw, need a cut
33. you own a dog? Nope
34. you spend your money wisely? 99% of the time
35. you're always making new friends? Nope
36. you like to swim? Yes
37. you get bored so u take a shower? Nope
38. you're patient? Only for so long.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, October 13th, 2005

Subject:New 30 Seconds to Mars Album Came in the Mail
Time:1:44 am.
Mood: chipper.
Lie awake in bed at night and think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me...

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last (happened last, happened last)
Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much the same
'Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me...

(Lie)
(Beautiful)
(Oh)

Everyone's lookin at me
I'm runnin' round in circles, baby
A quiet desperation's building higher
I've got to remember this is just a game

So beautiful, beautiful (It's a beautiful lie)
So beautiful, beautiful (It's a beautiful lie)
So beautiful, beautiful (It's a beautiful lie)
So beautiful, beautiful

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, October 10th, 2005

Subject:Reflection
Time:8:15 pm.
Mood: disappointed.
If I could turn back time. If I could find a way. I would end all this from the start. I would begin again. I would create a whole new story, define a whole new me. Rip away all of my fibers, scar my weak mentality. Force myself to be a stronger character and break my ego, sent to oblivion. I would whisper in an angel's ear to barter my soul, yell at lucifer to sell my intentions, my lust, my passion. I have heart, I bow to emotion. I have faith, more than I let on. I know who I feel for, yet they not me. I know who I want, yet they not me. Purgatory around me, new beginning in Calgary, heart in California, smiles in Pennsylvania, laughs in West Virginia. I am not here. I'm not listening.

Sammy Crunches, your girlfriend is the shit.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, October 4th, 2005

Subject:...
Time:1:41 am.
Mood: distressed.
I want to take his hands off, just for touching you.
And I want to rip his heart out, just for hurting you.
Yes, I do.


Love you. stay strong.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, September 29th, 2005

Subject:Just Finished Watching Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story
Time:11:48 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
HILARIOUS.

Peter: ...What the hell is this?

Brian: It's an intermission. A time where people can spread their legs, use the bathroom

Peter: Ahh, man. You mean I peed in a cup for nothing??



Stewie (Talking to his future self): Now, you listen to me, Stewie Griffin. You get in there and you...*check book*...insert your phallus into her vaginal...
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 21st, 2005

Subject:Nip/Tuck Season Premiere
Time:12:06 am.
Mood: good.
Kimber: First you propose to me and now you're screwing another girl? Who are you?

Christian: I'm me again, baby. I'm back!

*Commence Three-Way*


Very, very NICE
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, September 17th, 2005

Subject:Fuck you.
Time:2:38 am.
That's right. Fuck you. I like talking to you, it makes me happy. Go ahead and sign off and give up and leave me to become an emotional wreck. Fuck you. Know what? Don't ever talk to me again. Fuck you.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, September 16th, 2005

Subject:Maybe...
Time:2:14 am.
Maybe tomorrow something else will happen that will drastically depress me and piss me off and I'll spend another day laying in bed watching Ring of Honor tapes from 2002.

Which, the All Star Ex. has some awesome matches on it. Daniels/Morgan/Joe v. Homicide/Low Ki/Williams, AmDrag vs. AJ Styles...good, good shit. Also, I've found that I've grown disinterested with most of the puro I have. The major stuff is still gold (J Cup, Comp Tapes, etc.) but some other stuff I have is just not interesting. What I really have a hankering to watch is some old school WWF shiznit. Like Early/Mid 90s stuff. I may stop into the local video rental place and try to find some of that old stuff. Not like I'm gonna have a date or anything.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 14th, 2005

Subject:Yeeeeeah
Time:12:51 am.
Mood: uncomfortable.
I shouldn't really let this get me, but...

Girl: (Name Removed) ASKED ME OUT

Green2Mist: To do what?

Girl: well not exactly like out on a date... like out as in going steady

Green2Mist: Out as in being a couple?

Girl: yea

Green2Mist: Ahh...what'd you say?

Girl: yes

$$^%&&#%@#%@#%#&&%&*$*#%&^@$%@#%@$^$&*(%&($&$^@$%@#$@$%$#^$%&^#$^%@#%$!@#$!#%#$&^#^@#%!#$!#%#$&^*%&*(%&(%^*%$#$@$!$#%$%^%$&%^*%&*(%&($&#%@@%@$%!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, September 3rd, 2005

Subject:Not A Good Few Days...
Time:6:36 pm.
...at all.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Monday, August 22nd, 2005

Subject:PRIDE on FSN, SummerSlam
Time:1:16 pm.
Mood: content.
I didn't order SummerSlam, but I caught the debut of PRIDE on Fox last night. I was highly interested seeing as how this seems to be PRIDE's shot at piggy-backing UFC's success on Spike and try to gain exposure and make money through an American market. Spike was having none of that shit. They ran a marathon of the first season on TUF and three straight hours of UFC Unleashed to try to obviously compete with PRIDE/FSN and divert as much attention away from it as possible.

Most of PRIDE's show was spent pimping their PPV on the 27th. As they should be since the PPV and buyrates are the big money maker, not a debut television show that got very little promotion or advertising (sans Bas Rutten on Best Damn) and will probably prove to be a first week bust once the Nielsen's come out.

The guy that they had hosting the show looked like a complete putz. He didn't seem like an authority on the company or the fighters at all and sounded more like a car salesman trying to put over how much cooler PRIDE is supposed to be than UFC. I honestly would'be preferred having Bas Rutten host the show. He may not have the most flow when he speaks (ie NOT a pitch man), but he brings instant fight credibility and studies enough of the fighters to actually come off as being legit and professional. Unlike what's-his-face that just sounded like an internet fanboy jizzing his pants everytime he talked.

Matches were all good choices as they were all short and fairly fast paced with either a "HOLY SHIT" knockout ending or a solid ending befitting of the match. Many people thought Liddell/Jackson was being put on the show to try to send a message as Liddell is UFC's poster boy and Jackson beat him in this confrontation. If the point of airing was to take a shot at UFC and try to prove PRIDE fighters as superior, then it failed on many levels. Firstly, Dana White does commentary on the match and Liddell walks to the ring all pimped out in UFC gear. Which is right away just giving major advertising and promotion to the fans you're trying to steal from the competition. Aside from that the match itself was very evenly matched and exciting, thus putting over Liddell as being even more of an exciting fighter than people would want to watch. Being that he's UFC-exclusive, there's more reason to watch Dana and Co. instead of PRIDE. The fact that Jackson wins at this point is immaterial as instead of pushing your shit as being superior, you just ran a 15 minute commercial on why fans should catch TUF Season Two on Spike the night after.

The nature of the japanese crowd might work against PRIDE as well. The japanese are very reserved and quiet through most of the match until some shit kicking gets going. They aren't very excitable nor do they really help to bring an intense or amped atmosphere to the matches either. Whereas the american crowds for the UFC fights just go apeshit and are an interactive as you could possibly want. A hot crowd can make a shitty match look great, and a great match look unreal. The japanese don't do too much to help this.

Graphics were off. They were well created for what they were, but they didn't really fit. I can't really put my finger on it exactly. It was just...off. The host just looked amazing awkward in front of the green screen as well. I'd trade up for an actual set of some kind instead of going the green screen route.

All in all it was a decent debut show to introduce the casual fan american audience to what PRIDE is. I enjoy PRIDE a tad more than UFC merely because there are fighters that I am a bigger fan of (Ex: CroCop, Silva) than in UFC.

SummerSlam


Got the lowdown from Meltzy on the happenings. I'm glad the Mysterio/Guerrero custody angle has seemed to finally come to a close. I never understood why their feud needed to have a side story of Eddy being the real father of Mysterio's child or why Eddy suddenly wanted to have custody of said child after 10 years or however old Mysterio's little kid is. Finally the pain is over and they'll hopefully move Eddy up to play heel to Batista.

I can't believe they put Hogan over Michaels. Why do they keep bringing Hogan back to do his nostalgia schtick and then have your money making talent put him over when he's going to leave again for another eight months because he finally remembers he hates working with Vince anymore? What the hell does this accomplish? Michaels just ended up being completely worked over in all of this. Who was the guy that delivered phenominal promos week after week to hype their match? Michaels. Who was the guy that got so much crazy heat on him that it made me want to watch the match when I had no interest at all from the start (And this has to apply to 99.9% of viewers as well)? Michaels. Who's going to continue working on the road and on TV after this match and maintain as being on of your most important draws? Michaels. So, of course, Michaels does the job. Unreal.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, August 17th, 2005

Time:1:45 pm.
I want to crawl into a hole. A deep, dark, dank hole that has no meaning or purpose to anyone but myself. I want to disappear and fall away and not have to deal with another moment of the indifference and uninterest from those around me. I'm gasping for air and want to breathe, but oxygen is running low.

Training gives me a reason to wake. Canada lingers hope in my face. It will never come fast enough.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, July 17th, 2005

Subject:Suffocating
Time:8:05 am.
Following an ideal or a greater purpose for living is far superior than following under the guidelines of a one. Through dictatorship we are subserviant and forced to follow the reasoning and beliefs of a person. As a people we can find a means to better ourselves for the greater good of a single person and the others that surround him or her. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, the crippled people hold the power to change. Your good book is your isolation.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, June 14th, 2005

Subject:Whole Lotta Nothing...
Time:10:59 pm.
Nobody's around to talk to which is extremely disappointing. Katie's off somewhere doing something in her state, Martina's at a fucking camp, Taylor can't be found at all. It's really discouraging.

This computer is having massive problems that just won't go away. The past two weeks it's been throwing fits like crazy. The prompts say that the hard drive is running out of memory. I don't doubt that's the case as there are a shitload of programs on this thing, but I think it has more to do with the rampant viruses running on the system than anything else.

Working at a gym has just exploited my complete intolerance for the general public. I get along with people fine and there are plenty of members that I regularly talk to and have no problem getting along with, but having to cowtow to customers and deal with people under a shitface smile has started to take it's toll on my mental well being. I was never the most social person in the first place, but lately things have gotten a lot more bi-polar. Somedays I wake up and have no problem dealing with people and talking openly. Other days I wake up and don't want to face anybody or anything. I don't turtle. I don't hide under the covers nor do I snap at anyone who tries to talk to me when I'm in the latter mood, but I keep to myself even more and go out of my way to avoid any interaction. I just don't feel right and don't want to deal with it. Maybe I'd feel better if I went out more and hung out with friends. Maybe I wouldn't have any problems at all if I had a girlfriend in my physical surroundings that loved me, or maybe that would just amplify it...

Things are getting more and more disturbing and more and more aggrivating with each passing day. I find myself being more sensitive to what my family says around me. I'm much more cranky and snippy with my mother at entirely undeserving moments. I'm getting sick of this town, tired of this mundane life and aggrivated with the inability to make a move until I have amounted enough resources to go. I want out now. I needed out yesterday. With each passing day I'm taking a baby step forward to achieving my goal...and at the same time taking a giant leap backward.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for Nick.

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